


Blue eyes turned grey

by MahaliaPride



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Feels, Hurt, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Sad, Sad Ending, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Torture, Unrequited Castiel/Dean Winchester, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 04:05:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11866326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MahaliaPride/pseuds/MahaliaPride
Summary: Cas knew he'd die without telling Dean that the "profound bond" they shared, was wished to be something more...But Cas knew that Dean would never want to be with Cas.





	Blue eyes turned grey

**Author's Note:**

> Torture warning!!

Screams filled the empty and cold air, and no one was there to stop them. 

"...Look, just tell me where they are, and you'll be freed." A demon, with a hellish smile cooed. In his hand, he twisted the angel blade he had robbed off a dead angel. 

"You know I can't do that...I'd never." A particular angel with blue eyes spat back. Castiel, was being tortured for the information on the Winchesters. 

Cas would never talk though, this torture had been going on for what seemed like eons to Cas, but in the back of head, his brain supplied him with the knowledge that it had only been 17 days, 4 hours, 31 minutes and 56 seconds. 

_57...58...59...60-...0...1..._

Cas knew that he would die here. It had been  _weeks_  since he was captured, but even more from the last point of when he called Sam and Dean. 

_Dean._

Cas knew he'd die without been reincarnated. With Death and his Father virtually gone, there'd be no coming back. 

Cas knew he'd die without telling Dean that the " _profound bond_ " they shared, was wished to be something more. But Cas knew that  _Dean would never want to be with Cas_. 

Jimmy Novak was dead, this was Cas' vessel now and it was only him in it. But Dean didn't like men,  _only women_. 

Cas wondered that maybe, just maybe, if he'd picked a female vessel, then Dean would've reciprocated Cas' affection. 

Slicing Cas' skin again, the devil smiles, as if he knows he'll never get an answer, but Cas will still scream. 

He cuts Cas' knuckles, under his knees, between his toes and fingers, under his eyes, and just under his chin. Cas can't feel anything anymore, his throat is too raw and hurts too much. 

His ears hurt because there is so much screaming.  _Cas forgets that it was him who was screaming._  

Then the demon, he forgets their name and he can't really distinguish features anymore, then places something on his head. 

It's bulky, cold, made of metal, and feels like a hellish type of halo. 

Then Cas remembers,  _this is what they used to torture Samandriel._

"Are you ready for this?" A voice calls to side,  _Cas has heard this voice before,_ he thinks, but he can't place where. 

Then there's the pain, but Cas is too far gone. He doesn't feel like he is even in his vessel anymore,  _no_ , he doesn't even feel like his soul and grace are intact. 

The vessel screams and shakes, though he's sure the vessel is more like thrashing. The vessel is held down by something and is strapped in a place. 

_How long?_

_18 days, 22 hours, 47 minutes, and 53 seconds..._

He can feel a certain presence close. Right and beautiful. Green like a large tree, and purer than an angel. 

_It's the righteous man...what was his name? Da- no... Dev- closer...Dean..?_

The demon picks up on Cas' sudden attentiveness. "Who's there Cassie?" He taunts obviously not expecting an answer, "Is it the hunters?" 

Cas looks at the demons true form, and he chuckles, "They're coming for you." The demons face turns steely serious with a hint of..fear...

Then pulling out an angel blade, he stabs Castiel right in the gut. 

But then the doors of the shed like building are busted down. Sam and Dean run in, taking in only the two figures, "Cas!" They both call out. 

Sam runs ahead and with a burst of anger, slashes the demon until he is a mere pile of ashes, and Dean runs to Cas. 

"Hey Cas," Dean says in his deep tone, trying to keep the mood light, "that demon really knackered ya. He must've wanted something good yeah?" 

Cas chuckles slightly, but ends up choking slightly on blood, eyes dropping closed. "Hey Cas stay with me, these shackles are done pretty tightly..." 

Cas can't focus on what Dean is saying from then on, so he decides that before he burns out, he'd say the things that have been on his mind for years. 

"Hey Dean...Remember how you helped me learn all of the human ways? Like the mobile devices... and cars... and  _emotions_?" Cas rasps, getting light headed even more after each word. 

Dean is looking solemn, like he knows now that Cas has given up, there is no hope. "Yeah what is it?" Dean whispers, tearing up. 

"I just want to say... That I'm sorry that I couldn't be the one thing you wanted me to be...a woman... I'm sorry I could not be in a form that you would love as much as I loved you..."

Dean has tears following down his face, unbest known to him, but Cas doesn't think he'd wipe them anyway as he is gripping Cas' hand. 

"No don't say that...Cas-," Dean chokes, his voice cracking on Cas' name, "Cas you can't just say that right now...you can't!" 

"Dean...please..."

"Dammit you stupid, stupid angel! I do love you okay? Just please- please don't die before we can talk about this..." Deans face scans Cas'. 

Cas tries one more attempt at a smile..."I'm sorry Dean..." he whispers as he presses their lips together softly.

They stay like that until the lips below Dean's, go slack and Cas is gone. His blue eyes turned grey. The only sign left of Cas, are the burnt moulting wings. 

..." _You know me. Always happy to bleed for the Winchesters_."


End file.
